Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
