I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
