I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
