Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
