happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
