I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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