im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize