can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are the jesus of drinking
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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