I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
