PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
