I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
