I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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