Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
