Pappa wants mamma naked
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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