pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
