I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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