I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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