fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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