weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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