sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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