Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
