mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize