normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
