thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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