just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
