I think I died a long time ago.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
