Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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