I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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