i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
