Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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