There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
