i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
