are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
