Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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