If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
