I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
