You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
