No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize