Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Terrible idea I love it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
