She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
