dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My vagina is very pro this idea
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
