census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
