I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
