Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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