thus making me awesome and them whores
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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