I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Too much gin, very little bucket
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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