Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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