Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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