im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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