so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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