"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
