Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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