My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
