You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
