You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
