I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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