Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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