No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
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You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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