Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize