roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
