me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
