The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
