Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize