I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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