I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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