He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
